Friday, February 17, 2017

Tuesday 7th of February 2017
 I Remember

 I Remember...
Sitting in the sand as hot as an oven My togs getting hotter and hotter I was sweating making a lake beneath me Until I was too hot and then, splash! I jumped in the fresh, sparkling water and felt relieved I dived excitedly, jumping and making terrific splashes I cooled down as quick as a piece of freezing ice That was hot summer.

I was learning to write a piece of descriptive writing to describe my summer. Notice and use the structure used in the exemplar. Make my writing interesting for the audience by using descriptive adjectives, verbs and nouns. Edit and recraft writing.

What I think I did well I added some similes and adjectives.


  1. kia ora ALexis
    I like how you added what u think u did well.

  2. Kia Ora Alexis. My name is Kaleb and I am from Greymouth. I would just like to say great story. it explains a lot of the hot summer. I hate when my togs get hot in the sun too!
    Well done. From Kaleb

  3. Hi Alexis,
    My name s Ella and I am from Greymouth. I really like your descriptive writing. It is great because it has lots of detail. Something you could change is in some parts you might need to fix the capital letters in the middle of the sentences.I think your summer sounds like fun!Is the beach you favourite place to go in the summer?

    From Ella

    1. Sometimes it is my favourite place to go in the summer. Mainly when it is boiling hot.